Morning Constitutional

Sea Bright’s Ultimate INSULT

Just when I figured that the Borough and this disaster they made of our home, couldn’t get any worse… They literally shot feces at me. To make it worse, they used my own S–T!

Since the re-plumbing of our bathroom drain during their elevation fiasco — the toilet they modified the drain for, has constantly backed up. So, this story begins while enjoying my morning constitutional. Feet on the floor, magazine in hand — I felt a rumble, then the toilet turned into a bidet and I was thoroughly jetted with my own excrement. Thankfully, only one fixture in our house was spewing. After a quick scalding disinfectant shower and some new clothes… outside I went. There at the end of the street was the Borough’s contractor, cleaning the sewer pipes. After some discussion and inspection, it was found that the toilet had been improperly vented, when the drain was replaced. The contractor stopped his work long enough to allow me to open our street level clean-out, preventing any further S–T Storms. Only Sea Bright could figure out how to flood an elevated house at low tide. Geniuses. If only they could have put this engineering prowess to work before building parking lots and improving the “street-scape” — only to flood every corner of Ocean Avenue, when it sprinkles.

The shortest distance between two points is often unbearable.

Charles Bukowski

Author: Murphy